http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/ The mental rollercoaster Mon, 23 Jan 2006 19:25:04 PST http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2006. http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/93.html Tue, 24 Jan 2006 00:21:43 GMT Sometimes life takes you for a spin...a spin you cannot describe. I cant find my mind...its buried in memories that dont make sense, memories i'd thought i'd forgotten long ago... no one can understand the happiness and pain that old memories bring. memories of an unrevivable past life. i cant explain the feelings of derangement that all these thoughts bring.... maybe someday i can figure myself out...until then...i just wanna live http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=93 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/92.html Sat, 21 Jan 2006 23:08:25 GMT http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=92 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/91.html Sat, 21 Jan 2006 22:42:39 GMT Have you ever felt so completely happy...yet you know something in your life is drastically wrong? yet you cant contemplate the thought of letting it go, because it is beyond your imagination of possibly giving it up. i cant fathom being without this love, or being in another series of events where no one seems to care. i know without a shadow of a doubt that im in love, yet i cant seem to hold onto being content. Still my thoughts seem to be a puzzled daze, and i dont want to feel the world around me. why cant i just put my thoughts together, and get out of this terrible and unknown realm of... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=91 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/90.html Wed, 14 Dec 2005 00:51:43 GMT ... http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=90 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/89.html Fri, 25 Nov 2005 02:39:52 GMT I didnt eat till i got sick, i didnt laugh at stupid things on tv, i didnt enjoy the company of people i love... i sat, staring at the snow, missing the love of my life on thanksgiving. i despise being alone on the holidays, though im surrounded by people, all i want is the one that makes me the happiest girl in the entire world. why cant it just be simple. but i long for the day when i get to hold that special one and run my hand across the cheek of the one i will spend my entire life with. how many times must i sit empty handed and feel surreal and empty hearted. how many times must i... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=89 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/88.html Fri, 07 Oct 2005 05:15:26 GMT I know its been a long time... i didnt want to post another entry that everyone pities me over... i dont want to be the center of attention, and i dont want you to feel sorry for me... this is merely my place to release my bottled emotion... if you dont like it please dont read it..... I miss my best friend... i guess things change and some people are merely here for a season... but Erica and I were inseperable... and now i feel completely replaced... i never hear from her, and when i do, its only for a few seconds.... she has a new best friend now and i new boyfriend, and have i heard... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=88 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/87.html Fri, 26 Aug 2005 05:51:17 GMT Im sick and tired of being accused of things i dont do.... sick and tired of people who are my "friends" only when they want something from me. Sick and TIRED of all of the SHIT that fills my life and head every day.... sick and tired of feeling like im a worthless piece of dirt because people dont know how to be hospitable and trustworthy... sick and tired of everything... i just want to die, make it all be over, be one with death and forget everything in this world. im overcome with bitterness because of each and every thing in this world... SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL IM LIVING... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=87 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/86.html Thu, 07 Jul 2005 17:47:09 GMT Wow.... Sorry its been a very long time... i get so carried away in life i forget to write it all down. i just Got back from Church Camp... It was amazing, God showed me so many things in my life that needed to change. and he called me to ministry!! i am now filling out my applications to work at Global Youth Camps. I feel i need to work with youth and i feel that God is calling me to this mission. If you want to help me get there, and you can, I need anyone that is willing to pledge 50 dollars a month for 10 months to help get me to Americamp Staff next summer. i have to raise 4000... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=86 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/85.html Tue, 29 Mar 2005 19:50:39 GMT I wish i was invisible, people will never understand me... and most people dont even try... i cannot stand that my parents have no reguard for my feelings or anything in my life... but then again, no one does, and im done searching for someone who cares, that person will never come. im cellularly alone. forever. im a loner. you cant change me, so dont try.i hate people, all people, even myself. it makes me sick to my stomach to know that there is such a being that is so self consumed that they can kill other people without any guilt. even if they arent killing people physically, they are... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=85 http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/archive/84.html Fri, 11 Mar 2005 19:02:14 GMT Arbys, Arby's, Arby's... yep thats about it...im skilled closing trainer... i close 7 nights a week 5pm-1am shifts on weekdays and 6pm-2:00am shifts on weekends... thats ok though cuz the money is rolling in. :) hopefully by the time i graduate i will have enough money to get my own place and start a life of my own. im sick of waiting on my parents hand and foot, and getting up and following wherever they decide to go... i feel like my entire life floats upon everyone elses schedule, but now, im finally starting to stand up and make people float around mine :) thats lotsa fun. if they want... (more) http://ferner007.blogdrive.com/comments?id=84